It's that time of the year to dust off the neoprene, linseed oil the hinges of your knee brace(s) and get that yellow coloured bat from out of the back of the airing cupboard. Your bunch of old(ish) crocks needs you like never before. Unlike the England Test side, The Colts know only too well the pressure of being "Numero Uno" and everyone (especially Redbourn) will be out to knock us off our f-ing perch (apologies to Sir Alex Ferguson).
Could anyone not wishing to play this year please let me know by return but I'm hoping for lots of abusive e-mails to say that you will don lycra and shove a box down your skids (without help) one mo' time.
A few notes :-
1. I believe that the minimum playing age has been increased for the Vets from 35 to 37 unless anyone between those ages played for us last year. This rule is self-regulated and they aren't asking for copies of passports and a blood sample from your first born child. Still, we'll play it as we see it over the course of the season and try to abide as much/best as we possibly can.
2. I'm trying to find out if Choice Cricket can let us have an hour's slot one evening before it all kicks off for a pre-season fitness session/run-out/beer. The infamous "Bleep Test" will be optional. I'll let you know what we get offered.
3. Match fees will probably be roughly the same if I could be bothered to work it out. We usually end up in about the right position by the end thanks to Simon Williams'
indecipherable spread-sheet on the "Blog".
4. The "Blog" will be up and running again soon as soon as I can remember how to do it. I'll e-mail you once I have the new fixtures and dates so that you can all fill in availability. The link is as follows :- http://the-colts.blogspot.com/
5. It looks like our first matches are Tues. 27 Sept. 2011 at 7pm v. Flamstead then Thurs. 29 Sept. 2011 at 9pm v. Frogmore and then Tues. 4 Oct. 2011 at 9pm v. Redbourn. Looks like they've lined up a tough opening for us again to try and trip us up early. There's a new team out there as well called "Vocalink" - nope, me neither.....
6. Mike Howard and JC need to return their trophies to me please when convenient.
Hope you're all looking forward to the usual banter with a game of indoor cricket thrown in there as well.
Quotes :-
"A Test match is like a painting. An Indoor match is like a Rolf Harris painting" :- Ian Chappell
"I've heard it said that this game at Indoor level is 50% in the head and 50% in the heart and bugger technique and that's not far off the mark" :- Ray Illingworth
"Indoor cricket is certainly a very good and wholesome exercise, yet it may be abused if either great or little people make it their business" :- Gentleman's magazine
"Personally, I have always looked on Indoor cricket as organised loafing" :- William Temple, Archbish. of Cant.
"The Hedge" :- Steve Waugh on being asked for his favourite animal
"Dustin Hoffman and Steve Ball in the act of appealing" :- Daryl Cullinan on being asked for his favourite actors
"Do you want Sprowse a bit wider ?" "No, he'd burst" : Chris Cowdrey
"Aye, stuff that stiff upper lip crap. Let's see how stiff it is when it's split" :- Mike Howard with a new ball
Finally and most true of all (in that I haven't changed it);
"Basically, it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselves" :- Kathy Lette
Sunday, September 11, 2011
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