It is appropriate that the Colts now issue an injury bulletin in respect of Andrew “Big White” Hedges and his amazing, performing, upside down, snow-board.
Whilst doing “Acros” off a “Demon Mogul” and attempting to catch “Big Air” whilst surfing a “Rad Bump”, Hedge of the Antarctic managed to leave a “Bomb-hole” and a “Butt-plant” after taking a nose-dive in to the “Boilerplate” in Chamonix. Ending up with the “Champagne powder” (both kinds) up his schnozz, Hedge alleges that the conditions were well gnarly with “Death Cookies” and “Frozen Chicken Heads” everywhere. Luckily there weren’t many “Gapers” to see him “Face-plant” and apparently this wasn’t the result of “Kodak Courage”. No amount of “Manky” would have softened the fall and, as we all know, it’s no good doing “Poodle Turns” if you want to pull a “Daffy”.
Hedge “Rag-Dolled” it big time and has since become known as a bit of a “Powder Pig” (we already knew that) but it’s no good “Pooping” and ending up as a “Screaming Starfish”. It’s fair to say that there may also have been a “Snotsicle” as well as a couple of cracked ribs involved.
It was a “Yard Sale”.
Zorb.
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